Aaaand the second it gets cold, I get sick.

My life is amazing.

IT’S FINALLY GETTING COLD AGAIN!!!

I never thought I would ever say something like that (ugh what has Don done to me?!?), but I am seriously so, so, SOOO excited for a California Fall even if it means mid-70’s weather and a rainy day here and there. Olive colored beanies. Hot mugs of chai. Toe socks. The smell of nutmeg, cinnamon, clover infused baked goods. Pumpkin flavored everything— cookies, muffins, breads, pies. Rain boots. Cuddling. Trick o’ treating. Family gatherings at my grandma’s and Don’s. Being extra thankful on Thanksgiving. Squash soup. Burnt orange sweaters. Scarves. Not having to wash your hair for 2 days because it’s cold and your hair doesn’t get greasy (Janet, you feel me on this one ;D). Boots. Dark nail polish. The list could go on and on, but I must study now… 

Mini goals are better than BIG, LIFE CHANGING goals.

“[Character], in this strict sense, is what happens when someone has made a thousand small choices, requiring effort and concentration, to do something which is good and right but which doesn’t ‘come naturally’—and then, on the thousand and first time, when it really matters, they find that they do what’s required ‘automatically,’ as we say.” - N.T. Wright

One step at a time..

- I will not spend any money on myself until 2013. I must save up for: xmas presents, a new iphone (finally), and give money to mama to help her pay for groceries. That means NO SHOPPING FOR WINTER CLOTHING even if it looks so warm, comfy, cute, cozy, or burnt orange…
- I will “EAT CLEAN, TRAIN DIRTY” until the end of this month just to see if I can (and let’s be real, I want to go Trick or Treating come October 31st… yup. I’m 23). Currently drinking a kale protein smoothie (1 cup kale, 1 scoop of your favorite protein, 1 cup almond milk, and 3 strawberries blended and ready to go. TRY IT!) and it is curbing my sweet tooth forreal. And yesterday I only had ONE hazelnut cookie and 1/2 a chocolate chip Lara Bar. That’s pretty good for me considering my constant inclination to shove chocolate/sweets into my mouth every 2 hours and binge eat giant bags of muddy buddy. Not. Joking.
- Give my body “rest days” when they need it, and don’t stress over having rest. My body will NOT gain 50000 pounds from not working out in 3 days. It WILL, however, gain weight if in those days I choose to make unhealthy choices and binge eat.
- “I want to be a woman of moderation, not just APPEAR to be a woman of moderation,” said Brittany Amsler. Learning from one of my best galpals how to be disciplined on the inside, both spiritually and emotionally, rather than simply having it “all put together” on the outside. HONESTY, honestly. If you took a camera and secretly filmed my life, it would be so anticlimactic, but Facebook will tell you otherwise.
- I will not cuss when I’m angry. I have such a potty mouth when my temper takes control. Not very many people know this..except the people I’m close with…that I get mad at… #irony. LubyouDonandToosha~
- I WILL GO TO BED EARLIER. Going to bed at 2 AM just because “I don’t think I have that much work to do yet and can waste my time doing nothing, yipee!” is a bad excuse for having a body-hangover the next morning and not being able to get out of bed.
- I will not compromise on the things I don’t want to do.. like drive to LA just to look slutty in a club for 2 hours to validate my identity just because other people want me to, but I will try to be more open minded about new experiences.. but not drinking. Those are two different things. Everyone should know by now how much I hate the taste of alcohol. Don’t try to get me to drink because I will most likely not like you afterwards. :)
- Be more presentable. I always rock gym clothes and a bun everywhere I go, but I need to just put my hair down sometimes and be girly. I am not manly and gross 24/7.. just 23/7…. :|
- Study smarter, not necessarily harder. Study 2 hours a day instead of cramming 10 hours before will hopefully benefit me in the long run when I’m trying to find where to poke you with needles. Is the needle supposed to go anterior to your medial malleolus or your lateral malleolus.. hmmm.. I don’t remember because I crammed for my final! Bad idea.
- Have more conversations about my faith.. to figure out where I stand with my faith. Have you ever had conversations that make you realize you don’t really believe in God that much and have all these doubts that you never wanted to think about because it would hurt your brain? Yeah, well I’ve had my fair share of those conversations in the past year, but the most memorable one would have to be with Don’s mama at her kitchen table earlier this week. It was just me and her while Don was at school and we were going at it about Christianity and why she hates the organization so much. She asked questions like “Why do Christians have such big houses and nice cars and why are pastors on television so rich if they’re called to give all their money away? Where does all your tithing money go, if not to the rich pastors that preach on Sundays? Do you even know where your tithing money goes? Why does the Pope get away with molesting children and why are you called to “love” others like your brothers and sisters based on the notion of family that comes from God being your father.. if you can’t even see God?” All valid questions, minus maybe the confusion between denominations, but still. I was sweating bullets by the time that conversation was over, and I couldn’t even answer half of them because I believed most of it, too. Christianity can be a religion based upon hypocrisy if you do it wrong, if you want to “appear moderate” rather than “being moderate,” but I want to do it right. And I know it will take time to decipher what that means, and I think in the next year I will be doing some back tracking in order to move forward with my faith. And that’s okay I keep telling myself. Say goodbye to my appearing spiritually mature and accepting that I’m a little bit lost in this big working-graduate school life.. just like everyone else! Because let’s face it, going to fellowships, attending every bible study, worship meeting, and fundraiser isn’t as easy to do with 24 units of school ANNNND work.